Embracing Awkwardness: Pursuing Multi-Ethnic Cultural Engagement

IMG_0195.jpgBy Dan Hong

Do you ever recall that moment, when you say bye to somebody, only to find yourself walking the same direction as that person, then you start looking at your phone, or even walking faster to avoid them?  That’s what you call an awkward moment.  That’s exactly what you’ll feel when pursing multiethnic engagement.  Even if you were to view them as a brother or sister in Christ (Ephesians 1:13-14), or ‘become’ like Paul did for the sake of the gospel (1 Corinthians 9:19-23), there will be many awkward moments that will arise.

As Ken Currie once said, “Awkwardness is perhaps the biggest threat to evangelism for far too many of us.” How true it is, also, for pursuing multiethnic engagement.  I promise you that awkwardness won’t kill you.  It is a small price to pay for enjoying the power of God’s Spirit using us to pursue multiethnic engagement.

Even though we’re all created in God’s image, we can’t deny the fact that we’re different.  Culturally, people eat different types of food, dress differently, smell differently, mannerisms are different, and the list goes on.  When you have different cultural norms that clash together, there will be tension– a weird tension of awkwardness.  We view awkward moments to be a bad thing, but it’s not.  In those moments is where we learn about there culture.  Those are the moments where we’ll find ourselves drawing closer to them.  Therefore, don’t runaway from it or look at your phone to avoid it, but embrace those awkward moments.

So if you’re asking yourself right now, “So if I live out the gospel, there will be awkward moments?”  The answer is ‘YES’.  You can and will have awkward moments when living out the gospel.  The gospel is counter-cultural to the world.  You think Asian culture is radically different compared to Middle Eastern culture?  Or the black culture to white culture?  It’s not.  The biggest difference of culture is the gospel and the world.  So expect many uncomfortable and awkward moments.

The good news is, the gospel gives us a purpose to embrace awkward moments, so that many may come to the faith (1 Corinthians 9:22).  Even though the gospel is totally contrary to the world, it’s also the only thing that can bring the most different of cultures together.  We all need the gospel.  We all need a Savior.  That Savior is what brings us to the Father.  That’s where we will find our biggest commonality in all the differences that we have.  That commonality is what triumphs all the differences that we have with one another.  That’s where we will find ourselves embracing those awkward moments in pursuing multiethnic engagement.

The Office of Elder and Deacon

dylan-gillis-533818-unsplash.jpg
By Rev. Andrew Kim

1 Timothy 3:1-13  (Preached on April 14, 2019 by Rev. Andrew Kim)

Introduction

As we get ready to receive nominations for the office of elder and deacon, we’re going to spend time today considering what the Bible has to say about these offices. We need to be informed. I’m not sure how many revivals broke out in the history of God’s church by talking about elders and deacons but nonetheless this God’s Word given to us for our instruction and guidance. God didn’t leave the church in the dark and tell us to figure it out with what is practical and with what works when it comes to leadership. He speaks to it in passages like 1 Timothy. But here’s the thing. God does not reveal names in the clouds or in the sand for who should be an officer in the church. I recently heard from a pastor friend whose church is in the middle of a pastoral search process that one applicant had the audacity to write and tell the search committee to stop their search. Their prayer had been answered. God had revealed to him he was to be their new senior pastor. How do you respond to such a claim? God gives officers to his Church as gifts but he uses the ordinary means to give them. And for us that means prayerfully and wisely discerning who we believe to be men fit for office and then nominating and voting them in. If God chooses to use members of the church to make this decision, it means we must be informed by the Bible to know what the office of elder and deacon are and what they are called to do and be.

This can be especially difficult because we may have grown up with certain expectations and stereotypes of these offices. Many people wrongly assume that an elder must be somebody old. I’ve heard people say about perfectly godly candidates that they are simply too young to be an elder. But the Bible never mentions an age requirement. In fact, remember Paul’s encouraging words to Timothy, “Let no one despise you for your youth…” Timothy was as an elder in his church and his age did not disqualify him. Others think an elder must be rich and needs to have money to give to the church in order to be considered. Sadly, I’ve heard people joke that they don’t feel ready to be elders because they aren’t wealthy enough or don’t want to be elders because they will have to buy the church something expensive. I’ve also heard people say that the elders’ jobs are to execute the will of the pastor. That they are “yes” men to the pastor. I wish that was so but that’s simply not what the Bible teaches.

The same goes for deacons. There are many misconceptions and misunderstandings about this office as well. Some assume that because the work of deacons is so hands on that spiritual qualifications don’t matter but only practical skills. But Paul says they must be dignified and hold the mystery of the faith and be proven blameless which are very spiritual qualifications. Others view the office of deacon as a stepping stone to be an elder. It’s almost a rite of passage, a door every elder must walk through. But being a deacon is its own calling, a separate office altogether that’s not a means to an end, but an end itself.

In the end we need to submit our thoughts to the Bible and then ask God to help us understand what he’s revealed and how our church can reflect that. I want to consider our text today considering four things with you about elders and deacons:

  1. The Offices
  2. The Duties
  3. The Qualifications
  4. The Hope

#1: The Offices

There are two recognized offices in the New Testament. They are the office of elder and deacon. But often in the Bible you’ll see another word that’s translated “overseer” but that is not a third office. It’s the same office as elder. The word for elder is the word presbyteros from which we get the word Presbyterian. The word for overseer is the word episkopos from which we get the word Episcopalian. Both of these words are used interchangeably in the New Testament. Even here in 1 Timothy, Paul calls them episkopos in chapter 3 but then presbyteros in chapter 5 but they refer to the same office and the same duties. And so verse 1 lays out that first office, “The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.” We see the second office in verse 8 where Paul writes, “Deacons likewise must be…” and then he goes on to describe the office of deacon.

Now there is the office of elder and deacon and some of you are wondering, then what is a pastor? Shouldn’t that be a third office? Presbyterians understand that the pastor is also an elder of the church. He is not a greater or lesser elder. He is neither higher nor lower. He is simply an elder with the special calling to teach and preach. In our denomination, the PCA, we make this distinction clear by using the terms teaching elder and ruling elder. Both are elders to whom 1 Timothy 3 and its qualifications apply but as 1 Timothy 5:17 says, “Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching.” Here, Paul makes a distinction that there are some elders called to this specific labor of not only ruling and shepherding as all elders do, but preaching and teaching, which only a few, select elders do. Therefore I, as the pastor, am considered an elder, just like our other elders. Only I am a teaching elder and they are a ruling elders. The opening of nominations today is for the office of ruling elder.

As for the office of deacon, we see the office created in Acts 6. When the church began and was flourishing as many people were coming to faith, a certain issue arose that needed special attention. Acts 6 records this incident starting in verse 1: “Now in these days when the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint by the Hellenists arose against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. And the twelve summoned the full number of the disciples and said, ‘It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables. Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty. But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.’” (vv.1-4). The phrase, “to serve tables” comes from the Greek word diakonein which is where we get diaconate or deacon from. This incident shows us that the office of deacon was created as a separate and distinct office from the work of the apostles which was to pray and proclaim the word. Although the office of the apostles has ceased, their spiritual work of praying and preaching are continued by the elders. So we see the deacons are called to a different task and to address different concerns. So there are two offices of the church: elder and deacon.

The reason I highlight this point is because of the implications it has. First, there are many ways of serving the church but only two ordained offices. I am so thankful for all of you who serve the various ministries of the church, volunteering your time and energy. We know that many of our operations as a church would come to a halt if you weren’t so generous and sacrificial in your service. But the Bible shows that only the office of elder and deacon are the ordained offices in the church that require the laying on of hands. This is why we only vote for the officers of the church.

Second, elder and deacon are distinct offices. One is not lesser or greater than the other. Each requires its own calling from God and a faithfulness to fulfill different duties and responsibilities. When people view the office of deacon as lesser than the office of elder, there are always negative consequences. One such consequence is that somebody may be called to be an elder but needs to jump through the hoops of being a deacon first. Often this means means they are awful deacons because their calling isn’t actually to be a deacon, it’s to be an elder. It’s a different set of duties altogether. Another consequence is that when people are ordained deacons and stay deacons their whole lives, some people unfortunately see that as a shameful thing. Sometimes even the deacon thinks that way. But both fail to recognize that being a deacon is its own, unique calling from God. Many are called to a life of being a deacon and that’s great. And third, this negatively affects the way people nominate and vote on officers. They see the leadership pipeline in the church as deacon to elder and so often pass up or pass over qualified, godly men to be elders simply because they are not yet a deacon. And also others may nominate and vote a deacon to be an elder because they’ve been a deacon for so long when that is not God’s calling for them. So without understanding the distinct offices of elder and either, you will either miss out on a great elder, you will lose a great deacon because you think he should be an elder, and/or you might elect an unqualified elder and thus hurt the health of the church. Because the offices are different, that also means the duties of elder and deacon are different. Let’s look at that next.

#2: The Duties

Paul focuses more on qualifications here in 1 Timothy and he he spends less time on duties but we see an allusion to the duties of elders in verses 4 and 5. Paul writes, “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” And as we already ready 5:17 says, “Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor…” So in these two passages we begin to see a picture of elders caring for God’s church by managing and ruling the church and her members.

Reading 1 Peter 5:1-3 might be more helpful to understand what this duty looks like. There Peter writes, “So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ…shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.” Shepherding, in my opinion, is the best way of summarizing the work of the elders which is to care for the flock of Christ by spiritually leading and guiding its members to greater faithfulness and Christlikeness. This is why the author of Hebrews writes in 13:17, “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account.” So it’s with the goal to care for and promote the spiritual interests of the church and her members that the elders are called to rule and shepherd. All decisions made in the church and for the church are all done to see this goal achieved. This is why Paul likens the duty of an elder using parental language, household language. A good father always makes decisions for the interests of the whole family, to promote the growth and health of his children, never pushing ahead with selfish ambition or with a selfish agenda.

So too the elder must put the interests of the church and her members above his own. This is why the elders receive members of the church through membership and baptism, lead the church in worship, pray for the church, visit people in their homes, counsel as needed, and ultimately set forth a spiritual example to the flock. If these are the duties, when you consider a potential elder, you must reflect on this question: Do I see this person shepherding the souls of others and my own?Do I sense in this person a call to know, lead, protect and feed the congregation in wisdom, love and toward greater Christlikeness? Am I able to entrust myself and submit to their leadership?

As for deacons their duties are in the name itself. Deacons are servers of tables as we saw in Acts 6. Whereas elders are called to shepherd, deacons are called to serve. Their duty is to take care of the practical, physical and material needs rather than the spiritual needs which are entrusted to the elders. Although the Bible doesn’t specifically lay out what they do, typically in churches their service is needed in areas of ministry like handling finances, taking care of facilities, responding to the physical and material needs of church members, and serving in areas that free the elders to give themselves to the ministry of spiritual care. Our denomination’s Book of Church Order beautifully puts it when it says “The office is one of sympathy and service” and it goes on to say, “It is the duty of the deacons to minister to those who are in need, to the sick, to the friendless, and to any who may be in distress.” The real heart of the work of deacons is to assist the elders by serving the needs of the congregation in every other way the elders can’t and don’t. Basically the deacons serve in order to free the elders to shepherd. That’s their relationship. If this is what deacons do, then as you begin to pray about who to nominate, remember that they are called servers of tables. Ask yourself: Do I see in this person a humble and servant oriented heart? Have I already seen them serving in the church and do they do it well, with joy and in humility? Would they helpfully assist the elders to shepherd by responsibly assuming tasks of service? But the most important qualifications are character and spiritual.

#3: The Qualifications

Paul’s focus when it comes to these officers is almost entirely on character qualifications and mentions only one skill or gifting. This is because whether shepherding or serving, both are spiritual matters. 1 Timothy makes it clear that the spiritual health of the church is tied to the spiritual health and maturity of its leaders. How many churches have fallen and been ripped apart in the last ten years because of unhealthy church leadership? Unfortunately too many. The church in Ephesus, where Timothy pastored, suffered because of bad leaders. They may have been men of great charisma, wealth, influential, eloquent, skilled but they did not have good spiritual character. So the majority of Paul’s focus in these verses is on qualifications.

Now one thing he doesn’t say directly in this passage because he said it in the chapter before is that the office of ordained elder and deacon are for men only. First, he assumes it when he gives the qualification that these men are to lead their households and be faithful to their wives. Secondly, in chapter 2:12, “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man…” None of Paul’s words are meant to put women down. In fact Paul and Jesus speak of women in the highest ways possible. You can’t read the whole corpus of Paul’s letters or stories about Jesus and conclude they were misogynistic. You would have to be blind to the evidence. So Paul is not talking about a difference in worth or significance or even ability. He is talking about a difference in calling and the roles God has given to men and women in the church. Simply different. Not better or worser. Now you can say this is culturally informed and at Paul’s times women’s roles in society were a certain kind of way but our times are more progressive and open minded. But you would misunderstand Paul’s argument. When he cites the reason why women are not to have this spiritual authority over a man in the church, his reason is Adam and Eve in the garden. He’s anticipating your argument and essentially saying, “Before you think this is a cultural designation, I’m telling you it’s not. I’m following a created design.” So at Cornerstone, because we believe the Bible only speaks to ordination being for men, the nominations for elder and deacon is also only for qualified men.

Now let’s consider these qualifications. First for elders. Verse 2 begins: “An overseer must be above reproach.” This doesn’t mean sinless – only that he is to have a blameless reputation. His conduct cannot be lived contrary to a life of following Christ.

“The husband of one wife.” This cannot mean that the elder be married. Singleness does not disqualify somebody from being an elder. How could Paul, an unmarried man who served an unmarried Savior, demand that marriage be a qualification? He would disqualify himself and his words then would have no authority. This qualification means that if they are married, the man must be faithful to his wife with unquestionable steadfastness. Because a man unfaithful in his marriage is a man who does not understand the gospel because marriage point us to the gospel.

The next three, “sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable” are marks of a disciplined man. The idea here is that you cannot rule over others if you cannot rule over even yourself. An elder must be a disciplined man, disciplined in life and in spirituality not simply giving into his desires and passions at a whim.

“Hospitable.” This comes from the Greek word meaning “love for strangers.” Although this includes opening up one’s home, it is not limited to that. You can host but not be hospitable. I’ve seen and experienced that. Hospitable is a practice but it is also a heart attitude. It means drawing near to others, moving toward them, opening heart as well as your house to people and making them feel at home.

“Able to teach” – in the middle of a list on character qualifications, this is the only skill or gift required. That means it is very important since this is the only ability Paul highlights. Now the fact that Paul later identifies those elder who preach and teach well, means that every elder is not expected to be an excellent teacher and preacher. Some are called specifically for that task. Remember that the word is able, meaning capable. “Able to teach” means the man is competent in both content and communication. He must both know enough and be able to speak clearly enough to teach and build up the church and her members in the sound doctrine and protect and guard her against false teaching.

“Not a drunkard” means not giving in to drunkenness. Now here some people declare they will never be an elder. Well, remember that Ephesians 5 tells every Christian to not get drunk. So you’re never excused. But why does Paul repeat this command? It’s because this command is heightened to those called to be elders. Elders are called to shepherd the flock, but if you are intoxicated and receive a phone call for emergency counseling, you have an opportunity to evangelize somebody who wants to hear the gospel, or you have to urgently visit somebody in their home or in the hospital, if you’re drunk you wouldn’t be able to fulfill your duties. You would fail to shepherd. I want us to know that nowhere does Jesus or any biblical author require total abstinence from alcohol. It’s unbiblical to make that a law. But this call to not be a drunkard or given to drunkenness must be taken seriously by every Christian and especially those who are called to the office of elder and deacon as Paul later applies it to them as well.

“Not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome.” These men are to love and pursue unity and always strive to honor and protect the weaker brother or sister, the least mature believer. They are not to sow seeds of division through quarreling but in gentleness pursue and cultivate peace, harmony and love among others.

“Not a lover of money.” This is the second deal breaker for people who are now absolutely sure they would never be an elder. But later in 1 Timothy 6 Paul writes, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.” Again it’s a statement made for all Christians but heightened in its application to elders. The temporary, earthly pleasures that worldly riches promise a person should not have a grip or hold on this kind of man. Rather generosity and sacrifice are his marks. This is not saying that an elder cannot be wealthy but that his wealth is not his identity. He is using his wealth to serve others and the kingdom for the promotion of the gospel, not to serve himself and establish his own kingdom.

“He must mange his own household well, with all dignity…” Since the church is called a “household of God” in verse 15, if the man has not proven he can rule his own household well, how can he rule God’s household? An elder cannot be living in hypocrisy between his home life and his church life. They must be in similar accord. In fact, in his home life where nobody else but God and his family can see, he must serve there most with integrity, godliness and faithfulness. Then those things spill over into the household of faith. By the way, this qualification does not mean all his children must be believers. Only God can change hearts so how could we expect an elder to that work too. He is not God. But he cannot be the reason his children refuse to believe. His hypocrisy cannot be the reason his children think the faith is hogwash. But he is to parent well because the character he exhibits to congregants should be consistent with the character shown to his children.

“He must not be a recent convert or he may be puffed up with conceit.” We’re not meant to make this quantifiable but we are to understand that Paul is seeking spiritually mature men. The number of years attending church or being in the faith does not always equal maturity. So being a Christian or being in the church for a long time does not qualify you. I think what Paul has in mind are men who have lived the Christian life long enough so that their lives have proven their character and doctrine are in sync. That one is not way ahead of another. Not a recent concert means they have experienced the different seasons of the Christian life so they can wisely and pastorally speak, counsel and pray alongside others. The danger Paul says is to be puffed with conceit and therefore proud and arrogant in your attitude and approach. You cannot shepherd God’s people if you are suffocating them.

And lastly “He must be well thought of by outsiders.” This concerns a man’s reputation and the witness he gives to the watching world. This qualification is last because if all of the previous, inward qualifications are truly at work in a person, the evidence will be seen by outsiders. It’ll be undeniable. So as you pray getting ready to nominate, and pray again to vote when the time comes, consider these qualifications.

Next for deacons, there are many qualifications that overlap. We won’t revisit the qualifications in verse 8 that says “Deacons likewise must be dignified…not addicted to much wine…prove themselves blameless…the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well.” Each of these qualifications that applied to elders also apply to the deacons.

I want to focus on just three that are unique to the deacons. First, not being “double-tongued.” This means he is not prone to gossip and having a loose tongue. Deacons handle people’s private affairs and often sensitive information and so he should not foolishly share those things with others but keep them to himself.

“Not greedy for dishonest gain.” Since much of the diaconal role has to do with financial matters, he must not be tempted to steal or take advantage of his entrusted responsibility. Remember Judas rebuked the woman pouring perfume to honor Christ. If he had his way, his selfish motive would have prevented a beautiful act of service being done for Christ. A deacon cannot be so consumed with love of money that his decisions prevent Christ being honored and his people being helped.

“They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. Let them also be tested first…” Deacons are called to have sound doctrine. Although they are not called to teach and their ministries are more deeds than words, Paul still insists they know their Bible and their theology. Even though they do not have teaching authority, because they are ordained officers in the church and therefore have influence in the church, they must be committed wholeheartedly to the truths of the gospel. In fact their doctrine should influence the wisdom they exercise in their duties as deacons to serve. They serve with Bible in hand.

Now let me say this as a word of caution. The qualifications for elders and deacons are impossible. All people are sinful and saved only by grace. We are not yet perfect and so no man can fully measure up to this. So if you take these qualifications and place it over any person in the church, they will all fail. If you wait for perfection, then we’ll be a church without elders and deacons. In fact, even the ones we have now would all be disqualified. But instead, we are looking for men who by the Spirit at work in them, are pointed in the right direction and truly live with an aspiration to be obedient to these things. Men who are making it their prayer that God would form and fashion them to reflect these qualifications. Not men who will make it a prayer once they get nominated or once they have to start living this way. But men who are evidencing these things in their lives now because they’re seeking godliness and righteousness, not seeking an office. And by the Spirit’s wisdom, I believe we can begin to identify all of the men or none of the men who the Lord is readying for our church to serve as ordained officers.

#4: The Hope

Any and every earthly elder or deacon will fail. For they and we are simply imperfect, flawed people. Although elders and deacons are God’s gift to the church, they can never be the hope of the church. The church is not built on these men. And when these men are long gone, the church will still persevere. Why? Because our only hope is Jesus. He is the true elder and he is the true deacon because he is the great shepherd and he is the great servant. Jesus did what no man could do perfectly.

You see, Jesus was a greater shepherd than an earthly elder could ever be. He gave his life for his sheep and he protected us until his dying breath. This is why in 1 Peter 5:4 Jesus is called “the chief Shepherd” and in John 10:11 he says, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherds lays down his life for the sheep.” We’re not supposed to look to our elders as our saviors. But we look for elders who look to the Savior. As they have their eyes and their hearts fixed on him, they will become the shepherds that we need. And as they are conformed into Christ’s image, God will use them to shepherd and lead our church for his glory. So Jesus is our hope.

Second, Jesus was also a greater servant than any deacon could ever be. Jesus said in Mark 10:43-45, “But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant (diakonos), and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” This is why we don’t look to our deacons as our saviors. But we look for deacons who look to the Savior. And as their lives are centered on him and shaped by him, they will be conformed into his image to be the types of servants who give of themselves as Christ gave of himself to us. And through their conformity to Christ, God will use them to serve our church and its members.

As you begin to pray and nominate qualified men, remember that your hope can and should only be in Jesus. And remember how the gospel works. When you stop looking to earthly elders and deacons to shepherd and serve perfectly, when you believe this can only be fulfilled and met in Jesus, this will actually free the elders and deacons to serve better. When you believe the gospel, and they believe the gospel, it’ll take the weight of expectation off of them so that with greater joy and freedom they can give themselves to shepherd and serve Christ and his church.

Friends this is an exciting time for us. I hope you feel it too. So let us pray during this nomination process until the end of the month that God’s name be hallowed, his kingdom come and his will be done in Cornerstone as it is in heaven.

Stepping into Discomfort: Pursuing Multi-Ethnic Cultural Engagement

img_0170.jpg
By Dan Hong

When’s the last time you heard someone say, “I like discomfort”?  No one likes to be uncomfortable.  We want our kids to study hard so that they get into a good school, get a decent job, and make a decent-living.  We pursue high-paying jobs so that we can make a lot of money for the comforts of this world.  We plan our lives accordingly so that we can start our retirement plan early and be comfortable until our time on Earth is up.  Ultimately, we live our lives so that we can be comfortable.

In 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, Paul says the phrase ‘I became’ four times.

19 For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. 20 To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. 21 To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. 23 I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.

One scholar said that the idea of the phrase “I have become or I became,” came from the willingness to step inside someone else’s skin to feel what they feel.  Paul said he must embody discomfort in order to save them to Christ.  He became discomfort for the sake of the gospel.

There are a lot of joys in following Jesus, but there is a cost.  Paul knew that.  Think of Jonah’s call to Nineveh, Hosea buying back Gomer, or Onesimus reconciling with Philemon.  The cost of following Jesus is dying to yourself.  To die to yourself is to die to your idolatries.  To die to your idolatries is to die to discomfort.  There is nothing comfortable about dying to yourself.  I’m sure Jesus would agree.  Just ask Him when He was praying at the Garden of Gethsamane, where He was so greatly distressed that He was sweating blood (Luke 22:44).  He incarnated by taking on flesh, walking, and dwelling among us in the discomfort of that.  If Jesus would’ve hung on to comfort, we would be in hell for eternity.  Jesus knew everything about discomfort.

Living the Christian life will be uncomfortable.  Pursuing multiethnic engagement will be uncomfortable.  We cannot hold onto comfort and pursue multiethnic engagement at the same time.  To take a huge step towards multiethnic engagement is to step into discomfort.  That means for us to step into their context, instead of us waiting or manipulating them to step into ours.  The more we reflect upon the comforts of the gospel, the more we see how it outweighs the discomforts of our flesh, then we will find ourselves responding like Paul, “I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.”

First-Class Citizens: Pursuing Multi-Ethnic Cultural Engagement

IMG_0157.jpg
By Dan Hong

There have been many times where my friends and I would ask hypothetical questions about life.  How many kids would you like to have when you get married?  Would you want to live in the city or the suburbs?  What kind of business would you like to own?  These theoretical questions are important for self-reflection, since they help you understand more about yourself.  By doing so, it allows for purpose and meaning with respect to your responses.  It makes you think.  The choices that you make reflect who you are.  

One of the hypothetical questions that make you really think is, would you ever adopt?  Honestly, I always find it hard to answer this question, since I know what the “right answer” would be: yes. But, my heart says otherwise.  The questions that go through my mind are, “Would I love the child that I adopt equally as my own children,” or “If I was adopted, doesn’t it make sense for me to be treated as a stranger instead of their own?”  This shows how selfish and insecure my heart is.

In Ephesians 1:13-14, Scripture tells us how God views adoption.  God adopted us into His family by sacrificing His own Son on the cross, where the blood that He shed has not only covered our sins but our blood. This is how we have been adopted into God’s family.  When we are adopted into His family, we are not treated as second-class citizens, but as first-class citizens.  He loves us exactly as He loves Jesus Christ.  There is nothing that we did to deserve to this, but all because of the substitutionary atonement of Christ.

When you imagine the people that will be with you in heaven, who do you visualize around you?  Who are you worshipping and fellowshipping with in heaven?  Growing up, I would visualize heaven to be a bunch of Korean people, since I grew up in a Korean church.  Whenever I saw Koreans, I assumed they were Christians.  This is not because I proactively chose to think this way, but because of the environment that I grew up in.  The type of people that we encounter in our churches and in our social groups shapes the way we treat the different types of people in our daily lives.  We create our own version of heaven and the people that will be there.  Jesus did not say in His great commission, “Go therefore, and make disciples of only Asian people.”  He said to make disciples of all nations.  Jesus shed the same blood on the cross for white people as He did for black people.  It is the same blood that brings us into His family through adoption. It is the same blood that makes us brothers and sisters in Christ.

As God calls us to live out our heavenly-citizenship on Earth (1 Peter 2:9, Philippians 3:20, Colossians 3:15-17), let us live it out through the means of pursuing multiethnic cultural engagements with our fellow brothers and sisters.  Even when we evangelize, let us not just go to the people that look like us but also to the people that look different from us.  Besides our skin color and ethnic background, the biggest difference from Christ and us is that He is holy and we are not.  That is a legitimate reason for Him to not dwell and be with us.  He doesn’t just dwell with us, but He also died for us.  It is through His work, death, and resurrection from the cross, that we are adopted into His family.  This is the type of love that triumphs the difference of our skin color and ethnic backgrounds. This love enables us to pursue multiethnic cultural engagement.

Covenantal Worship: Exhortations for the Church

david-beale-168546-unsplash.jpg
By Reverend Andrew Kim

This past Sunday we looked at what the Bible has to say about covenantal worship.   You can listen to the sermon here (https://cornerstone-pc.com/resources/sermons) or here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8_bqFB9vKw&t=20s).  

Previously I wrote to encourage the parents of children.  Today I want to exhort the church and how we can respond to the vision of covenantal worship.  

Exhortations for the Church

First, encourage the parents especially when they are struggling to have their children sit still and listen.  Parents may often feel overwhelmed with embarrassment, discouragement, and/or frustration all which can lead to anger and impatience toward their kids.  Kind words can go a long way.  Encouragement can give them what they need to endure a little more.  Church, remember the vows you took as members when a child was baptized and you agreed to undertake the responsibility of assisting the parents in the Christian nurture of this child.  Encourage them.  Help them.  Offer a hand. 

Second, show patience and grace.  In fact, abound in it.  Yes, kids can be quite disruptive in the service.  They can be tremendous distractions when you desperately need to hear the Word.  But before you jump to critique and annoyance, ask the Spirit to give you patience and grace.  Sometimes you may hear a noise behind you and wonder, “Why isn’t this parent doing anything about this?”  You may be tempted to judge the parents or judge the children.  It is so much easier to criticize and scoff than to show grace and patience but your judgment and impatience will not promote the vision of covenantal worship.  It will only discourage parents from wanting to try again.  But extend the same kind of patience, compassion and grace Jesus abundantly showed you.  And be an ambassador of it back to God’s people.  

Third, learn from the children.  Multiple times in the gospels Jesus grabbed a child to teach us what we need to be like to enter the kingdom of God.  He instructed his disciples, “Let the children come to me.  And do not hinder them…”.  Would we be so arrogant as to tell Jesus that he doesn’t understand how disruptive these kids in our service are?  Maybe there’s a thing or two we can learn about having child-like faith from them.  Maybe they are a gift to us that God is using to teach us something.  Of course do not imitate any childish behavior.  But the Spirit can and does use the most surprising things to teach us if we would just have the humility to learn.  

Fourth, pray for the children.  Pray Deuteronomy 31:13 back to the Lord.  Pray that the children who are in the service “may hear and learn to fear the Lord your God.”  When you see that child struggling to pay attention and focus, don’t offer them a glance.  Offer them a prayer.  Pray that the cries and shouts of little children would turn into cries and shouts of hallelujah and praise.  And then watch expectingly as the Spirit makes and matures them into a worshipper that the Father seeks.  And soon you can call them a brother or sister in Christ. 

Covenantal Worship: Encouragements for Parents

sandy-millar-750251-unsplash.jpg
By Reverend Andrew Kim

This past Sunday we looked at what the Bible has to say about covenantal worship.   You can listen to the sermon here (https://cornerstone-pc.com/resources/sermons) or here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8_bqFB9vKw&t=20s).  

I wanted to follow up and offer four encouragements for parents and four encouragements for the church.  This will be a two part series.  The first will be address the parents and the second will address the church.  

Encouragements for Parents

First, know that covenantal worship is worth it.  Yes it’s difficult and it’ll take you out of your comfort zone but it’s worth it because God has given us the vision for it.  Take great comfort.  This also means he will give you the strength to do it and the fruit that will come out of it.  He who calls you to this task will supply everything you need as well.  

Second, there is something nobody can teach your children but you.  That’s communicating your own love for the Lord and the joy you have in gathering with God’s people as they see you worshiping week after week.  No children’s sermon can replace the invaluable lesson in seeing you do this every Sunday from their earliest memory until they leave the home.  Your actions teach just as powerfully as your words.  

Third, it is never too late to take on the role of spiritual discipler for your children.  It is embedded into your calling as their parents.  You may feel so behind, ill-equipped, and simply clueless where to start.  But remember that there are so many resources that are available for you.  We will have many of these listed on our website and on our resource table in the new building.  I also often include links to articles about parenting and spiritual leading in the home in the weekly pastoral letter so make sure you look through them.  

Fourth, there will still be bible studies for your children!  Just because we’re pursuing covenantal worship doesn’t mean we won’t offer anything for the children of the church.  There will still be Sunday school in the mornings before service at 9:30am.  If you really are concerned and convinced that your child needs some kind of age-appropriate lesson, we will continue in the Gospel Project curriculum which surveys the whole Bible, Genesis to Revelation in 3 years.  

At the end of the day, you are not alone in this task.  Although it is your primary responsibility to disciple and teach your children, God has placed you in a community called the Church where there is always help available.  But the greatest encouragement is this: God expects you to teach your children his Word and his gospel but God doesn’t expect you to change their hearts.  Only he can do that and he will be faithful to his promise.  

The Good, the Hard, and the Bad

volkan-olmez-101863-unsplash.jpg
By Jen Jang

The first biblical counseling course I took was Dr. Ed Welch’s “Helping Relationships” course. Dr. Welch is a biblical counselor, faculty member, and author at the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation. A few years later and I still remember something he said in class, look for the good, the hard, and the bad.

In this post and the next one, we’ll discuss what it means to look for the good, the hard, and the bad. Dr. Welch teaches that when we are talking with someone we want to look for these things in order. First, notice the good. How do you see the Spirit moving in the person’s life? Second, notice the hard. Where is there suffering in the person’s life? What has been difficult? Third, notice the bad. Where is there sin in the person’s life?

Today, we’ll focus on the good. One of the things you want to actively look for is how the Spirit is moving in someone’s life. How is this person turning to God, depending on him, and becoming more like Christ? If you’ve met with someone before and have shared personal things, the next time you meet with them you can follow-up and ask them how they’ve seen the Spirit move in their life. Or as you listen to them speak, you can share how you see the Spirit working in their life.

For example, if your friend, Mark, has been struggling with anger he may have shared his disappointment in exploding in fury again. However, as he continues talking, you hear how this time he turned to the Lord more quickly to receive help in his time of need. Instead of the usual ruminating on what others did to make him angry, he spent more time confessing his anger to God. While Mark is frustrated with his anger, you can share how the battle with anger already looks different. He’s turned to God more quickly, which means his heart is seeking and depending on the Lord more and more. By noticing the good, not only is Mark’s weary heart uplifted, but his eyes are lifted to the Lord. He gains more strength to continue in his struggle with anger and this time with a greater realization and hope that the Triune God is the only one who can change him and help him. Together, you can thank the Lord for his patience and faithfulness. The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in love and he will continue the good work in Mark.

Looking for the good includes finding something you enjoy about another. The word Dr. Welch used is delight. What delights you about the person? Is it the way they speak tenderly about their daughter? Is it their love for bird-watching? Is it the way they pour out their heart to the Lord? Everyone is made in the image of God, and there is something for you to enjoy and savor about them. Every believer is promised the Holy Spirit, and there is growth and movement for you to point out in a believer’s life. Ask the Lord to give you a heart that delights and eyes to see good.

Follow the Emotions

smiley-2979107_1280.jpg

By Jen Jang

“I wish I could just win the lottery!” While spending the whole day with my friend, this phrase caught my attention. She didn’t say this just once but twice throughout the day. Although she said it jokingly, I noticed a glimmer of hope in her eyes— the kind of glimmer one gets when daydreaming. In such daydreaming, while there is a hopeful longing for a different reality there is also a heartbreaking disappointment in the current circumstances.

Near the end of our trip, she said it again. This time I shared my observation with her. “I noticed that you said that a few times today. Could you tell me more? What does winning the lottery mean to you?” We spent the next hour talking about her upbringing, anxieties, and pressure as the oldest child. Winning the lottery seemed like an instant fix for all her worries. As we talked, we turned to God for comfort and help. If I did not ask her about the repetitive statement, I would have missed this precious opportunity to know and love my sister better.

So what is today’s take-away for engaging in biblical counseling? Follow the emotions. Don’t just listen to people’s words; pay attention to how they speak. Notice if someone’s emotions change and when they change. Does their demeanor change to sadness when they talk about their childhood? Do they talk with joy when they talk about their adventures in hiking? By noticing people’s emotions and patterns, we notice what is important to them. When we notice such things, we can engage in deeper conversation. “You seemed to hesitate before talking about your family situation. What is the hesitancy about?” “As you were talking, you looked a little down. Could you tell me more?”

By following the emotions, we are slowing down and expressing this: what is important to you is important to me. This kind of caring isn’t reserved for professional counselors; rather, this kind of caring is a delight and command for all believers. Count others more significant than ourselves and look at the interest of others (Phil. 2:3-4). By this people will know that we are his disciples, if we have love for one another (John 13:34-35).

Do you think you can love in this way? Remember, our God is a God who delights to love us in this way. I’ve often heard this: what you care about, God cares about more. We can look at the interest of others, because there is a wonderful Savior who is caring for us.

(This idea of following the emotions because it leads to what is important to the person is from my Helping Relationships course I took with Dr. Ed Welch. I highly recommend that you take that course or another CCEF course online!)

The Art of Listening

harli-marten-135841-unsplash.jpgBy Jen Jang

As we continue to talk about the art of listening, we’ll now discuss a few specific skills. To start, here’s a question for you to answer: When you’re listening to someone talk, are you actually listening or are you thinking of what you’re going to say next? This diagnostic question is a good place to start.

In general, we want to be active listeners who are present with the person speaking. What are some ways we can be attentive and present? First, while someone shares we can periodically rephrase what they said. Rephrasing includes giving a concise summary. This serves three purposes: 1) you can check that your understanding is correct, 2) the speaker feels understood, and 3) the speaker can reflect on and hear his/her own thoughts and feelings.

Second, to be active and present listeners, we should avoid jumping to conclusions or incorrectly filling in the blanks based on our own similar experiences. For example, because we have experienced anxiety with academics before, we may assume that we know the reasons someone else experiences anxiety with school. We may have had anxiety with grades, because we desired control, like securing a comfortable future. However, someone else may struggle with anxiety with grades, because they find their identity in being successful. By “copying and pasting” our experiences, we may be listening more to our own stories rather than listening to the speaker’s story. We can miss precious opportunities to know him/her deeper and better.

Third, be prayerful and rely on the Holy Spirit to guide you. As you meet with someone and listen, humbly ask the Spirit to be present and to give you the words to speak. Further, you can begin and end a meet-up by praying with the other person, in which you are acknowledging your reliance on God together. During your conversation, you can also actively and privately pray for the person in your mind. One private prayer that I’ve found helpful is a confession that I cannot change the person but that the Lord can. While you pray, you can lift up the person and give their struggles, suffering, and sin to the Lord. In this way, the burdens are cast upon the rightful throne of the High Priest, not the throne of yourself.

These are just a few strategies to utilize when listening. Now we hope to end on an encouraging rather than instructive note. You and I may not be the best listeners. Even when we have grown in our listening skills, we will still misunderstand people from time to time. But rest assure, that while we may not hear everything someone shares with us, the Lord does. The Psalms are filled with beautiful reminders that the Lord is a listening and knowing God. When someone comes to you with a heavy heart, remember who is listening to their story with you.

“In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ear” (Psalm 18:6).

The HeArt of Listening

rawpixel-718367-unsplash.jpg

By Jen Jang

Have you ever considered listening to be an art? Consider if you know some “bad listeners” and “good listeners.” There’s a difference, right? Listening, like an art, involves finesse, work, and your heart. The good news is that we can all become better listeners. Like an introductory art course, this post will review the general method and vision for the art of listening. Although we won’t go over specific listening strategies, we will lay a foundation that will help us better understand and utilize specific strategies later. When our method and goal are correct, then the practical skills of listening will follow.

 First, let’s start with our general method of listening. As Ed Welch says, you want to retell the story of the person you are talking to. What do we mean by “story?” By nature, man is a meaning-maker. We are always interpreting our world and fitting these interpretations into a story. When someone is speaking, we are listening to different pieces of a story that they are weaving together. As we listen, we can ask ourselves how is this person interpreting their situation, themselves, or God? For example, a woman in her late 20’s may have subconsciously labeled herself as a failure throughout her life. So when she finds herself in depression, she may subconsciously use her depression as further evidence for how she is a failure and how God must be disappointed in her. The storyline most likely won’t be laid out clearly, but if you listen for it you will begin to see it more and more. 

Second, our goal in listening is to know and love others. By understanding someone’s story, we are coming to know them more fully. Now how can we also love deeply? We can love deeply by hearing and accepting a person’s story without judgement. We fear being fully known, because we fear being rejected, isolated, judged, and shamed. To deeply love someone, therefore, is to hear their story, know them fully, and still love them with a patient, gentle, and committed love.

In The Meaning of Marriage, Tim Keller writes:

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”

By listening well, we are fully knowing someone and truly loving them. By fully knowing someone and truly loving them, we are reflecting the love of God. (We see this love described in Psalm 139!)

 My hope is that you are beginning to see the beauty in the art of listening. Listening is not an inactive, dormant art. It is an active, dynamic avenue through which we can reflect the love of God. God knows us intimately and perfectly. He knows our wounds and weaknesses. He knows our sins and thoughts. Yet, he loves us intimately and perfectly. Our God, who is abounding in love, knows you fully and loves you deeply. Take some time to reflect on how this Holy God fully knows you and loves you truly, so that the next time you meet with someone you can listen with a heart like His.